Calm Your Dog’s Separation Anxiety With Smart Training Tips That Actually Work

 

Your shoes are chewed, your neighbors are complaining about barking, and your dog greets you like you’ve returned from a year-long voyage every time you walk through the door. Sound familiar?

You might be dealing with separation anxiety in dogs, one of the most common and heartbreaking behavioral issues.

But here's the good news: You can absolutely help your dog feel calmer and more secure when alone. And no, you don’t need to install 24/7 doggie surveillance or hire a live-in pet nanny.

Let’s unpack the why and how of calming dog separation anxiety with practical steps that bring relief to both you and your pup.

 

What Is Dog Separation Anxiety?

Separation anxiety occurs when a dog becomes highly distressed upon being left alone or separated from their human(s). It’s not about “being bad” it’s an emotional response rooted in fear.

Common signs include:

• Destructive behavior (chewing, digging, clawing at doors)
• Excessive barking or howling
• Pacing or drooling
• Attempts to escape (sometimes causing self-injury)
• Accidents in a house-trained dog

If your dog seems glued to your side like Velcro and panics when you leave even for five minutes it’s probably more than just boredom.

 

Why It Happens

Separation anxiety can develop due to:

• Lack of early alone-time training (especially in pandemic-era pups)
• Major life changes (moving homes, changes in household members)
• Trauma or abandonment (common in rescue dogs)
• Over-dependence on humans without enough independence training

No matter the cause, your dog isn’t acting out to spite you. They’re just scared and don’t yet know how to self-soothe.

 

Dog Separation Anxiety Training: Step-by-Step Plan

Step 1: Teach Alone-Time Skills Slowly

Start with brief departures seconds, not minutes.

• Pick a departure routine (grab keys, put on shoes)
• Walk out the door for 10 seconds
• Return calmly and ignore your dog for a minute

Repeat this multiple times a day. Gradually extend the time you're gone only when your dog stays calm.

If they panic after 30 seconds? Go back to 20. This isn’t a race it’s about building comfort.

 

Step 2: Desensitize Triggers

Dogs often react before you even leave. They see the signs:

• Putting on your coat
• Picking up keys
• Grabbing your bag

Practice these “fake” departures:

• Pick up your keys and sit down again
• Put on your shoes, then make coffee
• Walk out and immediately walk back in

This teaches your dog that these cues don’t always mean you’re leaving for hours and reduces anticipatory anxiety.

 

Step 3: Create a Calm, Enriching Space

Make their alone-time environment cozy and full of things to do:

• Use interactive toys or puzzle feeders (see Article #10)
• Play soft, calming music or white noise
• Use a sniff mat or frozen food toy for mental stimulation
• Block windows if outside triggers cause barking

If they’re too anxious to eat or play alone yet, keep training sessions short until they relax enough to enjoy enrichment.

 

Step 4: Avoid Emotional Hellos and Goodbyes

It’s tempting to turn departures and arrivals into dramatic scenes. But this reinforces your dog’s sense of danger around those moments.

Instead:

• Say goodbye calmly, or not at all
• Wait 5 minutes after returning before engaging with your dog
• Greet them once they’re calm, not while they’re frantically jumping

This helps normalize coming and going, turning it into a neutral event.

 

Supportive Tools (Use Thoughtfully)

• Crates: Only if your dog is already crate-trained and finds it comforting
• Baby gates: May work better for dogs who feel confined in a crate
• Adaptil diffusers: Pheromone products that mimic mother-dog scents
• Calming treats or supplements: Ask your vet before use

Never use shock collars, bark collars, or punishment these increase anxiety and make things worse long term.

 

When to Call in the Pros

If you’ve tried gentle training and your dog still:

• Destroys your home
• Hurts themselves
• Can’t be left alone at all

…it’s time to work with a certified dog behaviorist or trainer specializing in anxiety. They can create a tailored desensitization plan and, in some cases, your vet may suggest short-term medication.

Separation anxiety isn’t “bad behavior.” It’s an emotional issue that requires empathy, structure, and professional support when needed.

 

Progress Takes Patience (and Treats)

Most dogs can improve significantly with consistent training. Your role? Be calm, patient, and celebrate the small wins:

• A relaxed 2-minute solo session? Victory.
• Eating a frozen toy while you’re in the next room? Progress.
• Waiting calmly when you pick up your keys? Worth a treat.

Success is built on baby steps and each one counts.

 

Final Thoughts: You Can Help Your Dog Feel Safe Alone

Separation anxiety isn’t your fault and it’s not your dog’s either. But it is something you can work through together.

With patience, structure, and trust-building training, your dog can go from panic to peace. You’ll both breathe easier (and your shoes will thank you too).

Infographic about this Article

“From barking to bonding this one course changed thousands of dogs (and owners).”

Next in the Series: Let’s explore how enrichment activities can reduce stress, boredom, and behavior issues even beyond separation anxiety. Article #10 is all about turning your home into a fun filled canine playground.

Stay tuned brain games ahead!

 

References:

• Overall, K. L. (2013). Manual of Clinical Behavioral Medicine for Dogs and Cats.
• American Veterinary Society of Animal Behavior (AVSAB). Position Statement on Separation Anxiety.
• Landsberg, G., Hunthausen, W., & Ackerman, L. (2012). Behavior Problems of the Dog and Cat.
• Journal of Veterinary Behavior. Behavioral Management of Canine Separation Anxiety.